dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He did a backflip because drugs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
