so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
