i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
