I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
