i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
