weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
