I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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