I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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