It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
