hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
