this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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