i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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