youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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