At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
