In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
