Banned from zoo.
Again?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
