I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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