Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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