i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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