I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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