Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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  (416): i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ? http://tfl.nu/m6rh
  Replies (9) Good night (704) Bad night (2589)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.

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  (508): You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life. http://tfl.nu/6ito
  Replies (10) Good night (1039) Bad night (2645)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.

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  (402): she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics (1-402): you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys. http://tfl.nu/veft
  Replies (18) Good night (8715) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.

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  (754): You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm. http://tfl.nu/ypbk
  Replies (18) Good night (4935) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.

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  (231): I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/7ezq
  Replies (9) Good night (3496) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

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  (708): I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look. http://tfl.nu/k5sb
  Replies (15) Good night (4736) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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  (937): And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/r7zp
  Replies (12) Good night (1227) Bad night (3126)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

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  (952): Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number? http://tfl.nu/tc09
  Replies (12) Good night (1379) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.

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  (256): Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again. http://tfl.nu/e17o
  Replies (4) Good night (2219) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?

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  (563): I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join? http://tfl.nu/9f19
  Replies (5) Good night (596) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

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  (561): well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/wjgp
  Replies (10) Good night (813) Bad night (1822)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?

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  (716): Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog? http://tfl.nu/399r
  Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.

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  (770): The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park. (770): I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers. http://tfl.nu/217c
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore

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  (616): if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore http://tfl.nu/orke
  Replies (10) Good night (2389) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.

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  (901): We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults. http://tfl.nu/zv4y
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (649)

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