Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?

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  (260): Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache? http://tfl.nu/2cci
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (4390)
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  (559): View more from California

  if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean

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  (559): if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean http://tfl.nu/a5l2
  Replies (5) Good night (1007) Bad night (2094)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wrong asian. never thought that would happen.

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  (401): wrong asian. never thought that would happen. http://tfl.nu/96tp
  Replies (16) Good night (1369) Bad night (4053)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.

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  (985): any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window. http://tfl.nu/e2g8
  Replies (14) Good night (4242) Bad night (813)
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  (661): View more from California

  My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss

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  (661): My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss http://tfl.nu/25zw
  Replies (41) Good night (6864) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how to spell recollection?

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  (724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh
  Replies (16) Good night (5598) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.

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  (541): Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/0c84
  Replies (10) Good night (4032) Bad night (845)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten

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  (406): he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten http://tfl.nu/sl88
  Replies (9) Good night (3490) Bad night (1917)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

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  (702): I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat. http://tfl.nu/7ors
  Replies (13) Good night (4348) Bad night (1276)
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  (310): View more from California

  Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?

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  (310): Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away? http://tfl.nu/o5qu
  Replies (10) Good night (1029) Bad night (2112)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis

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  (860): He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis http://tfl.nu/bzb9
  Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (754)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.

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  (586): I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins. http://tfl.nu/rkqp
  Replies (2) Good night (940) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.

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  (217): Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons. http://tfl.nu/9jo6
  Replies (9) Good night (1588) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"

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  (757): Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos" http://tfl.nu/ucb4
  Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.

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  (303): And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond. http://tfl.nu/d9ej
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (344)

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