i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN