If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity