Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
