Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
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Ketchup is God's man juice
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks