So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
