So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this just has baby written all over it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
