The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
