omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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