Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
