This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
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