Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
