Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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