I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Send us your Text From Last Night!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You smell like stripper and shame