What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory