I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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