Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
