There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good