so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
