I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
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I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'