I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world