Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor