the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im so drunk with asians
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i can juggle bunnies
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea