why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
