there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
im so drunk with asians
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
what if I'm pregnant?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign