Texts From Last Night · emilushka12's Favorites

emilushka12's Favorites Texts:

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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(505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r

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(863): View more from Florida

There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

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(863): There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent. http://tfl.nu/g0ez

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(519): View more from Ontario

What color are my eyes?

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Ummmm... 34 C?

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(519): What color are my eyes? (1-519): Ummmm... 34 C? http://tfl.nu/3v5v

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(719): View more from Colorado

No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.

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(719): No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dm8r

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(716): View more from New York

If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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(716): If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex. http://tfl.nu/vi35

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(702): View more from Nevada

Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.

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(702): Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/nbuo

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it

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(215): the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it http://tfl.nu/0kvz

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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(608): all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!'' http://tfl.nu/g7vx

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(773): View more from Illinois

I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.

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(773): I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit. http://tfl.nu/2ngx

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"

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(412): there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty" http://tfl.nu/qrhn

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(949): View more from California

you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one

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(949): you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one http://tfl.nu/7gmu

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(415): View more from California

I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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(415): I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number? http://tfl.nu/po3x

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(859): View more from Kentucky

did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

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(859): did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring http://tfl.nu/dlju

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(417): View more from Missouri

Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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(417): Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"? http://tfl.nu/n06e

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(815): View more from Illinois

you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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(815): you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night. http://tfl.nu/m1vr

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(334): View more from Alabama

You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.

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(334): You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool. http://tfl.nu/6ccl

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(815): View more from Illinois

She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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(815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr

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(352): View more from Florida

Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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(352): Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house? http://tfl.nu/bc2r

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(650): View more from California

I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.

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(650): I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program. http://tfl.nu/1rj5

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(312): View more from Illinois

...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????

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(312): ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because???? http://tfl.nu/17np

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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(651): That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish. http://tfl.nu/pnvl

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(313): View more from Michigan

Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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(313): Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker http://tfl.nu/hydd

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emilushka12's Favorites Texts:

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