You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dating After Heartbreak
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
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I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.