There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"