The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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