Texts From Last Night · HzzRd's Favorites

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HzzRd's Favorites Texts:

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(720): View more from Colorado

She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

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(647): View more from Ontario

Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(516): View more from New York

my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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(312): View more from Illinois

I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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