Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
