brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
