My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
