He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
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i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
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I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...