Texts From Last Night

ClaytonBigsby's Favorites Texts:

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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.

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  (780): He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again. http://tfl.nu/j7t8
  Replies (19) Good night (4468) Bad night (1447)
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  (760): View more from California

  i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.

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  (760): i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel. http://tfl.nu/n5cq
  Replies (177) Good night (5009) Bad night (4836) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
  Replies (31) Good night (7855) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

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  (949): Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language. http://tfl.nu/y11c
  Replies (23) Good night (4426) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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  (856): i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty" http://tfl.nu/8yrq
  Replies (45) Good night (4261) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job

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  (847): The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job http://tfl.nu/ki5a
  Replies (45) Good night (4564) Bad night (1657) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (378) Good night (1946) Bad night (53654) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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  (703): He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet. http://tfl.nu/muj7
  Replies (28) Good night (592) Bad night (6069) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

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  (415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie. http://tfl.nu/1hr1
  Replies (25) Good night (5740) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is

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  (704 ): I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is http://tfl.nu/z1kt
  Replies (108) Good night (13129) Bad night (1831) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period

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  (302): some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period http://tfl.nu/2c6q
  Replies (33) Good night (2430) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.

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  (503): bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it. http://tfl.nu/wqus
  Replies (20) Good night (4298) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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  (218): The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it? http://tfl.nu/eoc0
  Replies (3) Good night (2640) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I love you

  (720): View more from Colorado

  are you drunk

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yes but I def love you, we should get married

  (720): View more from Colorado

  But I'm Jewish

  (440): View more from Ohio

  embrace Jesus

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  (440): I love you (720): are you drunk (440): yes but I def love you, we should get married (720): But I'm Jewish (440): embrace Jesus http://tfl.nu/v32c
  Replies (9) Good night (2847) Bad night (593)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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  (303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby
  Replies (18) Good night (3717) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25166) Bad night (2668) Order T-Shirt