Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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