Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2011

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.

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  (309): Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience. http://tfl.nu/wh3c
  Replies (8) Good night (1769) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Please tell me you're talking about his personality.

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  (347): Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year. (917): Please tell me you're talking about his personality. http://tfl.nu/ofhy
  Replies (7) Good night (2007) Bad night (865)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (2746) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

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  (978): The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up... (978): Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis? http://tfl.nu/mb06
  Replies (12) Good night (1350) Bad night (3261)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.

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  (971): You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified. http://tfl.nu/imja
  Replies (12) Good night (889) Bad night (2038) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.

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  (631): Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl. http://tfl.nu/065k
  Replies (13) Good night (1252) Bad night (2476) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo

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  (250): Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo http://tfl.nu/a9s7
  Replies (6) Good night (1481) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (1872) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.

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  (678): I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j7y2
  Replies (4) Good night (2534) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl

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  (248): My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl http://tfl.nu/sa4n
  Replies (5) Good night (1326) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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  (509): i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron http://tfl.nu/ihph
  Replies (14) Good night (1541) Bad night (778)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..

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  (850): when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys.. http://tfl.nu/5j7g
  Replies (26) Good night (781) Bad night (2321) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.

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  (270): True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor. http://tfl.nu/bso0
  Replies (10) Good night (1725) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?

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  (815): Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster? http://tfl.nu/pms2
  Replies (6) Good night (3041) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.

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  (270): I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms. http://tfl.nu/29v1
  Replies (18) Good night (885) Bad night (2413) Order T-Shirt