I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.