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you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
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