Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2011

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.

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  (443): My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/12sb
  Replies (8) Good night (3444) Bad night (463)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.

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  (360): I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though. http://tfl.nu/86o1
  Replies (19) Good night (601) Bad night (1742) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.

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  (570): I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk. http://tfl.nu/mwln
  Replies (7) Good night (1339) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...

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  (717): And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv... http://tfl.nu/8bd5
  Replies (12) Good night (722) Bad night (1583) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were

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  (731): all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were http://tfl.nu/iffh
  Replies (12) Good night (2454) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years

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  (425): we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years http://tfl.nu/w11g
  Replies (2) Good night (1050) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.

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  (314): I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use. http://tfl.nu/hohz
  Replies (2) Good night (1091) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang

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  (412): I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang http://tfl.nu/dtxk
  Replies (20) Good night (1811) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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  (720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Who the fuck is this

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  (561): Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake (1-561): Who the fuck is this http://tfl.nu/nqou
  Replies (13) Good night (4537) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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  (402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal
  Replies (11) Good night (595) Bad night (1022)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.

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  (570): That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga. http://tfl.nu/2c2v
  Replies (2) Good night (1451) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  strike, motherfucker.

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  (423): You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em. (423): strike, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/ain2
  Replies (4) Good night (2021) Bad night (468)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.

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  (928): I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with. http://tfl.nu/qynz
  Replies (2) Good night (1143) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.

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  (505): As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name. http://tfl.nu/zb1x
  Replies (10) Good night (537) Bad night (1566) Order T-Shirt