I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.