Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2009

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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  (651): I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked. http://tfl.nu/b7zw
  Replies (104) Good night (3579) Bad night (1672) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

  (646): View more from New York

  Lmao what?

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's a yes or no question.

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  (917): She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms? (646): Lmao what? (917): It's a yes or no question. http://tfl.nu/ypn0
  Replies (20) Good night (4423) Bad night (686)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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  (913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb
  Replies (26) Good night (895) Bad night (6536) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.

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  (203): if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize. http://tfl.nu/tmed
  Replies (27) Good night (5531) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  handjob tips. give me some.

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  (314): handjob tips. give me some. http://tfl.nu/678j
  Replies (75) Good night (3661) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

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  (502): I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/n96o
  Replies (30) Good night (4319) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

  (210): View more from Texas

  i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

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  (210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass" (570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge. (210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you. http://tfl.nu/8941
  Replies (23) Good night (4820) Bad night (1160)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase

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  (703): nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase http://tfl.nu/yg43
  Replies (11) Good night (3771) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (+26): View more from

  Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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  (+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY http://tfl.nu/9qwj
  Replies (30) Good night (6512) Bad night (1902) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore

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  (540): i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore http://tfl.nu/9ffg
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  (585): View more from New York

  i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"

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  (585): i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in" http://tfl.nu/uuti
  Replies (6) Good night (3578) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser

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  (954): all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser http://tfl.nu/xbi4
  Replies (17) Good night (3924) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me

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  (408): ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me http://tfl.nu/23c1
  Replies (18) Good night (569) Bad night (5511) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

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  (256): One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project. http://tfl.nu/03dc
  Replies (38) Good night (543) Bad night (4208)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish life had little blips of pornography

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  (778): I wish life had little blips of pornography http://tfl.nu/kuwx
  Replies (25) Good night (3214) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt