I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"