there was a trapeze. enough said
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.