We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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