he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
